


Unrequited

by MightyPen



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 22:31:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7456387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MightyPen/pseuds/MightyPen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tali's struggles of the heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unrequited

They weren't intentional, the feelings that Tali'Zorah found manifesting for Commander Ethan Shepard. They'd started suddenly, unexpectedly after he'd brought her aboard the Normandy. But she never let them get in the way of her mission, and she certainly never let anyone know. She kept those feeling bottles up deep inside.

They were only a distraction. A pointless hindrance to their quest to protect the Galaxy. Commander Shepard didn't have time for her, he was saving lives. He was known for having no sense of commitment whatsoever, and sleeping around with literally every willing and capable female on his crew, and was not above visiting the consort on personal trips. And besides, her suit kept her off even that list for him. He'd never be interested in her. She was just a child on her pilgrimage that he'd felt sorry for.

She rebelled against her own emotions anytime they threatened to come up, choking them back down as soon as they tried to revive. But everything Tali tried could never fully stomp out the undesired attraction. Convincing herself with logic didn't work, because no matter how long the mental list she came up with, it was still never enough to make it go away. And simply ignoring it only lasted for so long before he'd do something heroic and she's find herself swooning over him again despite her efforts not to.

Even after his death in the Normandy crash, her heart ached for him. It was over a year before that pain had dulled, and she attempted to pursue Kal'Reegar. He was a far better match for her, a respected marine for the migrant fleet, and a quarian, which would obviously make life easier in general if they could eat the same things and understand each other's culture.

She didn't have the same desire for Kal as she did for Ethan. But Ethan had been long gone.

When he'd come back, and she saw him that first time again on Haestrom, she was too shocked and focused on her mission to get swept away by rekindling her old crush. But once he'd brought her back on his ship, and Kal was taken back to the fleet for hospitalization, she had time to think to herself on it. In the extreme quiet of the Normandy's engine room, those old embers of emotion were threatening to burst back into flame.

The more she spoke to him, the more they fought together on missions to expand his team, the more she watched, the more she hated herself for letting her heart be so fragile. She watched him from a distance, always aware of the way he talked to the other women on the crew. She'd hear the elevator return to the second level and either Kelly or another crew woman would be quietly sneaking back into their own bed, or Miranda or Samara would be passing by the crew's quarters to their respective room. That, or she'd hear Shepard returning to his own cabin.

Why was it she had to find herself falling in love with the one person who seemed completely unattainable?

She finally got up the courage to say something to him shortly before they were scheduled to use the Omega 4 relay, and with a shaking hand, she rose her knuckles to rap against the door to his cabin. But before the first strike could be made, she heard Miranda's voice, and quickly turned back around to the elevator to return to the engine room.

She threw herself into her work, trying to upgrade her weapons as much as she could and push all thoughts of Shepard away. It was hopeless to think he'd ever come around. She'd keep her heart to herself.


End file.
